Title: Xander Harris’s Final Night
Prequel to The Beginning
Author: Michael Wilson
Email: wyrdradio@yahoo.com
Rating: PG-13 to R
Disclaimer: Joss, Mutant Enemy, and a lot of other people own Buffy and the characters in this story. I get nothing by writing this except maybe some kind words of encouragement and a few cheers... at least I hope.
Spoilers: None that I know of.
Summary: The moments that lead up to the most startling event in Xander Harris’s life... a prequel to "The Beginning".
Author’s Notes: " " as always means talking while * * means thoughts.
Feedback: Yes please!!!!!
Distribution: If you like it... please feel free to place it on your site... but please tell me first.
Xander Harris... friend to the Slayer... was once again left out...
*Huh... where is everybody?*
Xander looked around the library and was shocked to see it empty. "Hello... is anyone here?"
Silence... they were all gone.
*I thought we were supposed to all meet here at 6.*
Xander looked around, frowned and then sat down at the table to wait...
*****
Two hours passed and Xander had fallen asleep... but was awakened when he heard voices outside in the hall. He lifted his groggy head and watched as the gang entered. He stared at them and waited for them to notice him... which they didn’t.
"Hello... did someone forget me?"
The gang stopped talking and stared at Xander. *Shit.. what does that look mean?*
Giles removed his glasses and rubbed them... then retreated to his office. Willow and Buffy walked over to the table and sat down... refusing to look at Xander. Xander frowned.
"What’s up? Why was I not told about... whatever went on tonight?"
Buffy stared at Xander and sighed. "You weren’t here... so we just left without you."
She then added under her breath... "Good thing too, you’d only get yourself hurt."
Xander stared at her. He had heard her and it hurt. He turned to Willow, who had heard it as well... and was nodding. *They don’t want to include me... because they think I’ll get hurt? Why? They know that I‘m not some fragile little cheerleader... hell, the worse I‘ve had was a broken wrist.*
"You just left... without even leaving a note. Come on, Buff... that’s not like you. I was only 10 minutes late."
Buffy shrugged and stood. "Doesn’t matter anyway... the night was a bust."
Xander glared at her and stood up. "Well then... woo hoo for them... I’ll just go home."
He turned and stormed out, ignoring them completely... then paused in the hall and smiled. *Willow will come running out any minute... any minute now... just any minute...*
He leaned against the wall and waited... and waited... for 10 minutes... but no one came. *They really don’t care...* He sighed, a tear falling down his check, and walked home...
*****
Inside the library, Willow watched Xander leave and sighed. "That was mean, Buffy, Xander looked hurt. Can’t we.."
Buffy shook her head. "No.. he’s too weak. He gets hurt every time he goes out there. No.. I don’t want him getting hurt... ever again.."
Giles walked out of his office and shook his head. "You can’t protect him, Buffy. He is capable of handling his own in a fight. He has proven that on a few occasions."
Buffy shook her head. She looked down at Xander’s jacket, forgotten in his haste, and picked it up. "He means to much to us... to me. I can‘t risk him getting hurt."
Willow nodded and sighed. "But still... you could have explained it to him.. but to do this...its just cruel. He looked so sad."
Buffy nodded, tears forming in her eyes. "I know, Willow, I know... but there is no other choice. There is too much risk involved. If he stays... he might die..."
They all stared at the doors and shook their heads. Giles sighed and shook his head. "The boy isn’t made of glass... Buffy. I don’t agree with you... but I will do as you say."
He turned and walked back into his office. Willow watched Giles leave and then shrugged. "I guess your point of view makes sense, Buffy, but I don’t like it."
Buffy nodded. "I don’t like it either, Willow, not one bit... but we have no choice."
They wiped their eyes and headed for home... hoping Xander would be ok and understand...
*****
The days passed and Buffy and Willow saw less and less of Xander. It was as if he was avoiding them. It was during lunch that they saw him enter, spot them together... then turn and leave.
"That’s it... I’ve had enough of this... I’m talking to that boy."
Willow reached out and stopped Buffy. "No.. Buffy.. you cant... remember?"
Buffy nodded and sat back down. "This sucks, Willow, it sucks so much. It’s hurting him so much... I.. I can’t stand it anymore."
Willow nodded. "I know.. I feel the same.. but like you said, we have no choice. It’s going to happen tonight... that thing is going to come up out of the Hellmouth and we have to be ready. I don’t want to be there, but you need me and Giles to perform the spell. We don’t need Xander. If he is here he will die."
Buffy sniffed and nodded. "I know, Willow... but its just so hard." She looked at the empty seat and began to cry softly.
*****
Xander saw them sitting together and it was too painful to watch. *They don’t want me... and it kills me... so why even bother.*
He turned and ran... not caring where he was going... and stumbled upon Angel and Giles having a conversation. He hid and listened.
"So it’s tonight... are you sure?"
Giles nodded. "Yes.. it will awaken and attack at 10:45. We have to be ready an hour early."
Angel nodded. "I understand... I’ll get everything and meet you back here then."
He then turned and left through the back of the library. Giles turned and entered his office... leaving Xander watching in shock. *Something big is happening and they are leaving me out... well, not if I can help it.*
He walked into the library and knocked on Giles’s office door. The door opened and Giles jumped in surprise. "Xander... what.. what are you doing here?"
Xander frowned. "I heard everything, G-Man. What’s going on? Why do all of you not want me around anymore?"
Giles blinked in shock and sat down. "Xander... I never liked what we were doing to you... but Buffy is my Slayer... and I have an obligation to go along with her wishes on certain things... like tonight. A Hellbeast is going to try to escape. We will be sending it back... if we can... and Buffy doesn’t want you there. She believes you will be hurt and die."
Xander shook his head. "I can fight, Giles... she knows that... but it seems like she doesn’t care anymore."
Giles started to reply when Xander silenced him. "That’s it, isn’t it... she thinks I’m a weak pathetic loser... that’s why she has shut me out... well... this isn’t happening..."
Xander smiled... he had a plan. "You’re not going to tell anyone I was here..."
Xander turned and stormed out the doors, leaving a shocked Giles behind him. *Dear lord, boy... please be careful..*
*****
Xander walked into the library just minutes before 10:45 and smiled at the group. *Thought you would forget about me huh.. well, not a chance.*
"Hey guys... what’s up?"
Buffy glared at Xander and stormed over to him. "Xander... get out of here... we don't want you getting hurt."
Xander frowned and shook his head. "Hurt? Huh? What’s going on? Do we have to fight something? I’m can help... I can fight."
Buffy snarled and shook her head. "You can't fight worth shit."
Inside, it was killing her. *Please leave, Xander... if you love me.. please leave...*
Xander started to speak, but Buffy stopped him. "Go... Xander... now. Its for your own good."
Xander stood his ground. "No. Why can‘t I be here? Willow is here and I‘m a much better fighter than her. How come she is staying and I can‘t... huh? Well, I‘m staying and I‘m going to fight. I‘m not leaving and you can’t make me."
Buffy frowned and slapped Xander, sending him flying. "Xander, Willow is here for a reason. She is here to help Giles with the magic needed. You are not wanted or needed here! You’ve never been any help to us before! You get in the way! We'd be better off without you!"
Inside her mind, Buffy was screaming. It was ripping her apart inside to have to do this to him. *Oh God... I’m so sorry.. oh Xander please forgive me... oh god...*
Xander stared up at Buffy, tears in his eyes, and just climbed to his feet and ran away. He ran blindly... not paying attention to where he was going.. and soon found himself at Gordon Cliff.
Buffy’s words echoed in his mind as he walked to the edge of the cliffs. He could smell the salt from the ocean as he drew nearer. He stared down at the frothing waters and blinked back the tears.
*They don’t want me anymore... they hate me... and Buffy... she... she hit me...what‘s the use... it doesn‘t even matter anymore... I‘m not important to them... they hate me.. along with everyone else. No one would miss me if... I.. weren‘t... here...*
It suddenly hit him. He knew that it was time... that they wouldn't miss him anyway, not after what Buffy said. Xander wiped the tears from his eyes as he stepped closer to the edge of the cliff. He moved to the edge and looked down, swallowing his heart as it jumped into his throat. *It's a long way down... but what's the use anyway...*
He looked back over his shoulder at the town and a single tear rolled down his cheek. "Bye... everybody."
He then turned and stepped off into the open air, falling gracefully... leaving Sunnydale, forever...
The End... or is it.
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