by Nat Faul <pruesdoux@charmedmail.com>
DISCLAIMER: (June 2001) This is not posted for any profit but to share creative ideas with other Charmed fans on this and other websites. The characters of Prue, Piper, and Phoebe Halliwell, Leo Wyatt, and Bane Jessup are property of Warner Brothers Television. Other characters were created by this author. Any similarities to real persons living or dead is purely coincidental. The following account is fiction. Its sole purpose is to entertain. Being conceived during the second season of the Charmed series, this series of stories is not parallel with those of the current season. (So Phoebe doesn’t meet Cole, Piper and Phoebe don’t have new powers, Piper and Leo aren’t married yet, and Prue still lives.)
RATED PG-13: Some extreme imagery may not be suitable for young children.
*****
It was night. The rows of townhouses were dark and quiet. No lights were on anywhere except the street lamps. No traffic moved through the streets. No one else was out. Only Phoebe ran down the middle of the street. Behind her she could hear the "THOOM-THOOM!" of a gigantic heartbeat. Whenever she looked behind her, she could see streetlights going out one by one. "THOOM-THOOM!" She was getting tired. She couldn’t remember how long she had been running, or from where and to where. All streets, houses, and rows of parked cars seem to look alike. "THOOM-THOOM!" Phoebe felt her legs getting heavy and slowing down. Looking behind, she could see the darkness from the extinguished street lamps getting nearer and nearer. "THOOM-THOOM!" She was breathing hard and getting dizzy. She tripped on something and fell. Her knees hit the hard street and went numb after a brief burning pain. She could only helplessly look behind her and watch the darkness move in on her. "THOOM-THOOM!" Then she saw a luminous globe, high off the ground, loom near. It was the single eye of the creature, which had been pursuing her. Luminous veins stretched to its left and right. She couldn’t see its size, because it was black against the night. "THOOM-THOOM!" Beneath the eye a wide mouth opened up, revealing rows of sharp teeth. A long sticky tongue shot out and wrapped around Phoebe’s waist then began pulling her in.
"THOOM-THOOM!" She tried to grab onto something in the street but the surface was smooth so there was nothing to hang onto. "THOOM-THOOM!" She began kicking and screaming, hopelessly struggling against her doom. "THOOM-THOOM!" She kicked and punched at the edges of the mouth to keep from being pulled in. But the overpowering strength pulled her past the rows of teeth and the lips began to close. "THOOM-THOOM!" She continued screaming and weeping as she desperately reached for the dying light outside. "THOOM-THOOM!" The roof and bottom of the mouth pressed in around her, smothering her. "THOOM-THOOM! THOOM-THOOM! THOOM-THOOM!"
*****
"Phoebe! Phoebe! Wake up!"
Phoebe was tightly twisted up in her bed sheets, struggling and screaming. Prue and Piper were shaking her awake.
*****
In the morning Phoebe drearily dragged herself downstairs to the kitchen. Prue and Piper were already up and at the breakfast table. Prue got up and went to the stove.
"Breakfast, Phoebe?"
"Just coffee. Lots of coffee."
"No! You’re not going to school with little sleep and just coffee for breakfast."
Piper ran her fingers through Phoebe’s hair. "Are you going to be all right today? That sounded like a very bad nightmare you had."
"It wasn’t just a nightmare. It’s what we call, in psychology, a fright dream; far worse than any nightmare."
"What was it about? Care to tell us?"
"It was just the run-of-the-mill, ordinary childhood, eaten-by-a-monster dream. It’s just that it was so real; so vivid. Everything looked, sounded, and felt so real."
"Do you think it has any meaning; like some kind of premonition?"
"No. It didn’t feel like a premonition. It just felt like it was really happening."
Prue set a plate of eggs and potatoes before her. Phoebe covered her face. "Oh God! I couldn’t!"
Prue lectured, "I’m not letting you out of the house in that condition with no breakfast! We shouldn’t be letting you out at all. You should go right back to bed and get the sleep you need."
"And back to another fright dream?"
"You expect lightening to strike twice?"
*****
Later on, as Prue and Phoebe were preparing to leave, there was a knock at the door. Prue opened to Derek. "Thought I’d save you the job of chauffeuring your sister to school."
"Oh, would you? I really appreciate this! Now I can get to work early!"
*****
Derek walked Phoebe through campus. She leaned on him sleepily.
He asked her, "How many classes do you have today?"
"Four."
"And you expect to stay awake through all of them?"
"I’ll stay awake."
"You still have time before your first class. Take a catnap now. I’ll wake you in time."
"No. Once I go to sleep, it’s very hard to wake me."
Suddenly she heard a "THOOM-THOOM! THOOM-THOOM! THOOM-THOOM!" She looked around in panic. "Where is it? Where is it?"
"Easy! Easy! It’s just someone playing a bass drum in the Music Department."
Phoebe collapsed into his arms with frustration and despair. Derek felt her trembling and her heart pounding. He held her tightly. "Now will you take a nap?"
*****
When Prue came home from work that afternoon, she found Phoebe asleep on the sofa. Carefully, she picked her up, carried her upstairs to her room, and tucked her into bed.
*****
Prue stayed up late that night, working in her darkroom. She was putting out print after print but felt that these will not meet with Mr Corso’s approval. She took a pause to look them over and wonder what she was thinking when she took them. Suddenly the room shook. The whole house was shaking. It was another earthquake. San Francisco’s had many in her lifetime so she knew what it was and what to do. But before she could act, she heard a loud wrenching of metal behind her. She turned to see large metal cabinet falling over onto her. Soon she lay across the floor with this heavy furniture across her midriff. Then all the lights went out and she lay in total darkness. The shaking had stopped and all was quiet.
She had no feelings from her waist down and feared her back had been broken. This may paralyze her for life. She dreaded the thought of having to live in a wheelchair the rest of her life. Carefully, she got up on her elbows and pulled herself away from the fallen cabinet. She slid away easily and thought she hadn’t been really pinned. So maybe she’s not paralyzed but simply in shock of some sort. She kept sliding back until the back of her head touched the wall. She couldn’t stand up, so she lay there wondering what to do next.
Then the lights came back on. She looked down on herself to find the lower half of her body gone and a river of blood leading to the fallen cabinet. To her horror she realized she had been cut in half. She began screaming and weeping in terror and despair. Hysteria overtook her and she pulled at her hair and pounded the walls and floors.
*****
"Prue! Wake up! Prue! Wake up!"
She sat up in bed to find Piper shaking her. Phoebe was just running in through the bedroom door. Prue quickly lifted the covers to look at herself. Seeing that her body was still intact, she flopped back in bed relieved. Piper and Phoebe held her tight and wiped the tears from her eyes.
Piper asked her, "Are you going to be all right?"
"Yes. I’m fine. Thanks."
Phoebe commented, "That sounded really bad. Like the one I had last night."
"You’re right. Could it be just a co-incidence?"
An awful thought struck Piper. "That could mean I’m next."
"What?"
"First Phoebe, now you. Tomorrow night, it’s me."
"Piper, we can’t be sure that’s going to happen."
"Can you be sure it won’t?"
*****
Somewhere far down below, a council of demons sat. A demon stood before them in his human form, looking like a man in his 30s; lanky, long hair, and beard. On the board, Trindo Blinnyworm asked the questions.
"Congratulations, Incubo. We have chosen you for this assignment. What is your plan?"
"The weakest moment for a witch is when she sleeps. I can access control of their dreams from a distance. I can do this far across the city; out of their reach. They’ll never know I am involved. A series of intense nightmares will cause them to loose sleep, which will weaken them; leaving them open to attack."
"An how will you kill them?"
"I can weaken them enough to kill them in ordinary ways. They will be so disoriented, I can simply walk up to them and stab or bludgeon any one of them. Some can even kill themselves; such as falling asleep while driving a car. This can’t fail."
"Excellent! When can you begin?"
"I have already begun a series of tests on each. As soon as I can tell what I can do to each, I’ll begin the barrage of one nightmare after another on all three. After a few nights without sleep, they will be vulnerable to any kind of death."
"This war will be over soon."
*****
The following evening, Prue came to the P3. Piper greeted her at the bar. "Prue! You’re here! Are you feeling well enough for this?"
"I took a nap after getting home from work and feel great."
"Really? No more bad dreams?"
"No. I’m fine. Now, where is he?"
"Right behind you."
She turned around to see Bane standing close to her with a welcoming smile. "Heard you weren’t going to make it. You all right?"
"I’m fine. It was nothing a little rest couldn’t cure. Now, ready to dance?"
*****
Later that night, Prue was about to settle into bed when she realized that someone was still stirring around in the house. She went downstairs to find Piper up and about.
"Piper, aren’t you going to bed yet?"
"Um ... No.... Uh ... I’m not tired ... so I decided to ... do a few things around the house that need to be done."
But she couldn’t hide it from her sister. Prue could see in her eyes and posture that she was fatigued. "Are you afraid to go to sleep?"
"Me? No! I’m just not tired. I had enough sleep last night, so I can go all tonight without it."
"Piper! You’re afraid you’re going to have a fright dream, aren’t you?"
"No. I’m ... I’m ...." Seeing it was useless to deny, she hung her head. "I’m scared. I saw how badly it’s frightened you and Phoebe. I don’t want to go through that too."
Prue sympathized deeply and held her. "I know. I don’t want you to go through that either. But you need sleep so you have to risk it. But you are not alone. I’ll sit up and watch over you as you sleep. All right?"
Piper reluctantly got to bed as her sister watched over her. Prue set up a chair beside her bed and sat down.
*****
It seemed like she was asleep for only a few minutes when she felt herself being pulled down and saw herself surrounded by smoky black and white swirls. She realized she was being pulled into a dream. She felt herself sinking down down down. Because of her doubts about what her dream would be, she struggled to wake up. Sitting up in bed, she found the chair beside her empty. She guessed that during her deep sleep, before going into her dream state, Prue went back to her own bed. Piper felt betrayed.
She got up and went to Prue’s room. She found the room empty. All furniture was gone, the windows were dingy, and the wallpaper was pealing. Frightened, she ran to Phoebe’s room and found it the same way. She ran downstairs and found the house empty and looking as if no one had live here for a very long time. She tried to open the door but couldn’t. Through the front window, she saw the others houses in the moonlight empty and derelict. The lawn was overgrown. The street was filled with large cracks through which high weeds were growing.
Piper desperately pulled at the door, whimpering, "Don’t leave me! Please!" She ran back to the window and pounded on the glass, weeping and screaming, "Don’t leave me! Please! Please! Don’t leave me!" She ran through the house, hysterically pounding on all windows and doors. "Don’t leave me! Don’t leave me!"
*****
"Piper! Wake up! Wake up!"
She shot up in bed to find Prue holding her. She wept in her arms.
Prue assured, "You’re all right! I’m here! It was just a dream!"
Piper sobbed, "You were all gone! You had all left me!"
"No one has left you! I’m still here! Phoebe is still here!" She turned her head and called, "Phoebe!"
Phoebe came in with The Book of Shadows opened to a specific page. "I found out what’s been happening to us." She set the book down before them on the bed. Prue wiped Piper’s eyes so she could look at it. Phoebe encapsulated as they looked on. "We’re under attack from Incubo, the nightmare demon. He hits witches with nightmare after nightmare, wearing them down. His victims begin suffering from sleep deprivation, throwing off their powers and leaving them open to attack. I remember him mentioned in ancient mythology. The Roman god Jupiter would send Incubo to his enemies."
Prue asked, "So what do we do to protect ourselves?"
"It doesn’t say. It just tells us about him but not how to vanquish him."
Piper desperately blurted, "You mean there’s nothing we can do? We have to go through this again and again until he kills us?"
"No! We’ll find something! I know a few formulas and crystals that protect dreams."
*****
Later that morning, after Prue left for work, Phoebe began work on an anti-nightmare potion. She had the usual pots of boiling water, jars of herbs, bowls, empty jars, and other utensils spread out all over the kitchen. With nothing else to do, Piper tried to help. But she kept falling asleep on her feet. Several times Phoebe caught her with her head down and eyes closed, although still standing.
She shook her. "Hey! Wanna lie down before you fall down?"
Piper shook her head without even opening her eyes.
*****
At one point, Phoebe just led Piper to the livingroom sofa and laid her out. She finished the potion on her own. Piper went into a deep sleep until noon. Frowsily she dragged herself back to the kitchen to find Phoebe putting away cleaned dishes and jars of the potion lined up on the table.
"You let me fall asleep!"
"You needed it!"
"I could have had another nightmare!"
"But you didn’t. I didn’t when I took a nap. And neither did Prue."
"So this demon only strikes at night? Then we could just become daysleepers."
"I don’t think that’s it. They dreams we had may have only been a test run. Now that he’s tested each one of us individually, he’s ready to hit us all at every sleeping moment; day and night."
"And this formula will protect us?"
"I’m not sure. It’s for naturally occurring nightmares. I don’t know how it will hold up against demon-induced ones."
"You’re not sure it will work?"
"We’ll know tonight. Or would you like to test it now and continue your nap?"
"Okay."
*****
In an apartment, somewhere in the Soma District of San Francisco, Incubo chanted before a shrine, lighting incense and candles. Another demon shimmered in behind him and watched. He didn’t have to turn around to see that he was there.
When this ritual was finished, he asked, "Does the Council doubt I can do this mission?"
"Not at all! We are full of anticipation of your success. I was only sent to provide anything you may need."
"I have everything I need. Thank the Council for me. I have finished my tests on each and concluded I can control their dreams easily without any interference. So tonight, I begin the barrage of night terrors for all three."
"The Charmed Ones have defeated many of us. They have a way of adapting to our powers and tactics and finding spells to vanquish us."
"They won’t have time to adapt to my powers. And I am not without preparations for something to go wrong." He held up an elegantly sculpted flagon of deep blue glass. "I have a potion that will increase my powers if they should somehow resist my spell. So nothing can prevent my success."
*****
That evening at the P3, Derek and Phoebe sat cuddled up on a couch in a corner. He ran his fingers through her hair and noticed the tired, troubled look in her eyes.
"You still having sleep problems?"
"Yes. But I have a sleep formula I’m trying tonight."
"How about trying me tonight? I can really help you get to sleep."
"I don’t think so. I’m too tired for that."
"I’m not talking about that. I’m just talking about holding you, to make you feel safe and relaxed; giving you a back rub to make you comfortable...."
While saying this, he dug his thumbs into the fleshy part of her neck and slowly moved them in a circular motion. She closed her eyes and moaned with pleasure. He slowly moved his rotating thumbs down her back, digging into the tight muscles on both sides of her spine. She fell limp into his arms, moaning and sighing, as pleasure oozed throughout her body.
*****
Prue entered the club and went to the bar. Piper stood there barely awake.
Prue pounded on the bar. "Hey, bartender! How about some service here?"
Piper started and looked around. Seeing Prue, she relaxed and went back to her semi-sleep.
Prue asked, "Didn’t you get any rest at all today?"
"I did get some sleep. But I had no dreams. And according to our college-trained sister, in the dream state, the brain replenishes a chemical we need for thinking. So since I had no dreams, my brain is out of ‘fuel’."
"Did Phoebe finish that formula for nightmares?"
"Yes. Then she tried tracking down that dream demon, but no luck."
"If only we could get ahold of Leo."
"Right. Too bad he’s still on a special assignment."
"They should have at least sent us a substitute whitelighter."
"No way! Not after the last one!"
"Piper, you’re not going to last ‘till closing time. Why don’t you go home now and get to sleep?"
Piper vehemently shook her head. She was beginning to resent everyone trying to pamper her.
But Prue was insistent. "Look! I can take over. I know how to run things here. I’ll get Phoebe to drive you home." She went over to Phoebe and Derek. "Hi! Sorry to interrupt. I can see you’re having fun here. But Piper needs a ride home. She can’t stay awake by closing time."
"All right", said Phoebe. "No Bane tonight?"
"He has to prepare for a meeting at city hall, to request more building permits."
Phoebe turned to Derek. "You should be doing that!"
Derek explained, "I’m giving a reformed felon the opportunity to earn the trust of the local government. It’ll be good for him."
She just twisted her lip, giving him a doubtful look. Prue handed her Piper’s car keys. They went back to the bar. Phoebe took up Piper’s jacket and purse then took her by the arm.
"Come on, Sleepy-head! Time to go night-night!"
Piper pulled back. "No!"
Phoebe tried again. Seeing that Piper was going to be difficult, Derek gave a hand and took her by the other arm. Prue walked behind her and pushed. Thus was Piper reluctantly escorted from her club to her car. Phoebe drove while Derek followed in his pickup.
*****
After Prue closed the P3, she went straight home. Looking in on her sisters, she found them soundly asleep. Phoebe was bundled up with Derek. On the posts of the beds, Phoebe had strung out a sequence of crystals as dreamcatchers. By her bedstand, she found a vial of the nightmare potion left for her.
*****
Piper found herself walking along a trail on a high mountain. She looked over the side and saw that she was high up by several thousand feet. Even the clouds were below her. Afraid of such a height, she quickly backed away from the edge and leaned against the mountain, shuddering. She continued walking the trail downward, wanting to get off of the mountain as soon as possible. But as she went on, the trail kept getting more and more narrow, pushing her to the edge. She thought of turning back and finding another way down, but found the trail behind her was just as narrow. Standing still, she found the trail constantly shrinking under her feet. Soon, her heels were against the mountain face and her toes hung over the edge. She desperately looked for something to hang onto but the mountainside was smooth. There were no cracks or crevices in which to stick her fingers. Soon she was hanging over the edge by her fingers. She screamed and wept as the ever-shrinking trail was pushing her fingers off bit by bit.
Suddenly she noticed lights before her face. A black plaque, with little flashing light bulbs all around the edges, formed a sign, saying:
"DREAM ALERT
DON’T PANIC".
Fear turned to curiosity. Piper wiped her eyes on her sleeve, to clear away her tears for a better look. The sign now read:
"PIPER
TRUST ME".
For some reason, she felt that she could. Without knowing the source of this encouragement, she felt hopeful despite her predicament. Before her eyes the sign changed to:
"LET GO".
Doubtfully she looked around her then gradually loosened her grip. She felt none of the downward movement she expected. Soon she had completely released her hold. She looked at her hands then looked down. She was not falling; just standing in mid-air. She looked back at the sign, which now said:
"TAKE CONTROL
FLY".
She spread out her arms, turned away from the mountain, and began moving over the clouds. Soon she was soaring over fields, hills, and forests of many beautiful colors. She felt fresh and exhilarated at this experience of ultimate freedom.
*****
Prue found herself sliding down an embankment. She couldn’t remember how she got there. The embankment was steep and of bare soil. The further down she moved the darker it got. An opposing embankment formed a dark pit. Soon she saw the bottom. As she got closer, she noticed that the pit floor was covering with countless writhing snakes. She desperately clawed for something to hang onto. She got ahold of something in the dark, which slowed her descent but she kept moving downward bit by bit. The snakes raised their heads and opened their mouths at her approach.
Off to one side, she noticed flashing lights. She looked at the opposite bank and saw a black plaque with little flashing lights all around its edge. In the center, glowing letters read:
"DREAM ALERT
DON’T PANIC".
Surprised and curious, she nearly forgot her situation. She watched the sign change to:
"PRUE
TRUST ME",
then
"STEP DOWN".
She looked doubtfully at the sea of wriggling reptiles but felt she didn’t have much of a choice. She put out one foot and slowly eased it down. The snakes retreated from her as she touched bottom. With both feet planted on a clear spot, she looked back at the sign, which now read:
"TAKE CONTROL
YOU GIVE THE ORDERS".
She shouted at the snakes, "Get out of here!" They faded away. She looked around and saw the dark pit bare. "Let’s have some light in here!" Sunshine beamed down, lighting up the space. "And let’s have some flowers in here! And some greenery!" Soon flowers, of all colors, shapes, and sizes appeared all around, along with ivy, ferns, and shrubs. Prue found herself in a beautiful garden park under the sun, where birds sang, butterflies fluttered, and a warm gentle breeze rustled the trees.
*****
Phoebe found herself on a snow-covered hillside, bundled in wool and a parka. The clearing was surrounded by trees. The surroundings were silent. She wandered disoriented, not knowing which way to go to civilization or just some shelter. Suddenly she heard a rumbling sound. Looking uphill, she saw something white, against the snow, coming towards her. Straining her eyes to make it out, she saw a snowball, growing in size and speed. She moved to get out of its path, but it shifted course and continued straight for her. She began running towards the forest, thinking the trees would bar it from following her. But the trees remained the same distance from her as she ran, leaving her out in the open with this monstrosity behind her. It was now the size of a house. She was now running desperately in different directions, trying to get someplace safe. But no matter how long she ran, she was still just as far from any safe area and the rolling snowball still coming straight at her. At one point, her feet were caught fast in a snowdrift. She desperately tried digging herself out as the rumbling behind her grew louder and louder. She was soon screaming and mindlessly thrashing about. But on looking up, a light caught her eyes. She looked straight ahead at a signpost, with a square black sign surrounded by little flashing lights. It read:
"DREAM ALERT
DON’T PANIC".
This oddity nearly made her forget the imminent danger right behind her. It changed to:
"PHOEBE
TRUST ME",
then
"TURN AROUND".
She turned around and faced the oncoming snowball, now over 60 feet high. It came to a stop just about six feet from her. She stepped out of the snowdrift, walked up to it, and poked it with her finger. It was cold, hard, but didn’t move. She turned around to look at the sign again. This time it read:
"TAKE CONTROL
MAKE A WISH".
Looking around at the cold and dreary landscape, she said out loud, "I wish it was Spring." Soon the snow faded away, uncovering meadows and forests in bright shades of green. She was no longer in wool and parka but barefoot and in a long loose-fitting white gown. She walked on the soft grass, in the warm breeze, picking flowers of many bright colors.
*****
In the apartment across town, Incubo shot up on the couch. He could sense his plans were not going according to his wishes. He felt something was interfering with his power. He got up and went into the other room for his booster potion. On opening the door and rushing in, he came face to face with Derek, who punched him in the face, knocking him to the floor. He stood over him, in his Stetson and long coat, clutching a cigarillo between his teeth.
In his Clint Eastwood voice, he growled, "So, ... Yuh like pickin’ on women, ... do yuh, ... punk?"
*****
In the morning, Phoebe and Derek came downstairs, leaning on each other.
Derek asked, "Take you someplace for breakfast?"
"Love to, but I’d rather spend some quality time with my sisters. Is that all right with you?"
"Sure. There’s always lunch."
"Right! We’ll do that! Meet me at noon in the student union."
"With bells on."
After a long, slow kiss, Derek left and Phoebe joined her sisters in the kitchen.
"So how is everyone this morning?"
"Great!" replied Piper. "Your pharmaceuticals really worked. Or your crystals. Or both."
"For a demon attack, it would have to be both ... and a whole lot more. Maybe our united determination to stand against evil activated the Power of Three, even in our sleep."
Prue wondered, "Is that possible? But still I don’t think this demon is one to just give up. We better keep looking for him before he finds a new edge on us."
"I can do that myself," Piper volunteered.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes! I feel that I have enough energy for the three of us and nothing else to do until the afternoon. So, you go to work and you go to school. I’ll take care of this myself."
Just then, Leo orbed in. Piper jumped up and threw herself into his arms.
"Darling! You’re back! I missed you!"
"I missed you too! Anything going on while I was away?"
"No.... Not really.... Just your ... ordinary, run-of-the-mill demon hunt."
"Really? Anything very serious?"
"No. In fact, I’m letting Prue go to work and Phoebe go to school, while I do this myself."
"Could I help?"
"Well, ... If you’d like."
*****
But no demon was found that day. And the three sisters had such an enjoyable day, they forgot all about it by evening.
Next morning, as they were in the livingroom preparing for their day, the television was on to the morning news, when one item caught their notice. They saw a police artist’s sketch of a man they recognized, from The Book of Shadows, as the dream demon Incubo. They stopped everything to listen. The anchorman was saying, "We’ve got Wayne Payton at the scene with neighbors of the missing man. Wayne?"
The scene shifted to the front of an apartment building, where a well-dressed reporter was holding a microphone up to a young man. "Did you know your neighbor well?"
"No. He wasn’t here for very long -- just a few days. He was quiet and pretty much kept to himself."
"And you heard the commotion just before his disappearance?"
"Yeah. I’m in the apartment next to his. So I woke up that night to the sound of a fight; shouting, stuff crashing, breaking, and stuff."
"You heard shouting. Did you recognize the voices?"
"One guy sounded like Clint Eastwood."
"Clint Eastwood?"
"Yeah. All I heard from him was ‘Yadda yadda yadda, punk!’, ‘Yadda yadda yadda, punk!’"
The sisters looked in surprise. They had heard Derek do impressions of Clint Eastwood and all agree that he’s very good at it. But to vanquish a demon? Besides he was with Phoebe all night. She would have known had he gotten up and left. They looked at each other and shook their heads. "Naaaaaa!"
They went back to their preparations when another face in the TV caught their eye. In a room full of people, Derek was sitting with a few children. The anchorman announced, "Yesterday, Saint Jude Children’s Hospital held its annual fundraising. The most outstanding fundraiser and contributor was millionaire and philanthropist Derek McPhillips; seen here with a few of the patients. McPhillips usually performs magic acts for children’s charities all over the world, but says this time he was unprepared, since this fundraising caught him at short notice. But even without his usual act, he seems to be entertaining the children just as well."
Derek had a little girl on her lap and five children in chairs around him. He was speaking to them and they were laughing. Phoebe beamed with admiration while her sisters wondered. What usual magic act?
The scene shifted back to the studio and the anchorman and anchorwoman at their desk.
The anchorwoman commented, "Wherever he goes, he’s always a natural with children."
The anchorman explained, "It’s no wonder. He has a few of his own, so as a father, he knows how to handle them."
The sisters were in shock. Even the anchorwoman was surprised. "Really! I didn’t know that!"
"It’s true. Four of them; two boys and two girls, from four different women in different parts of the world."
"My! He’s been a busy one! Was he married to any of them?"
"No. He says that they each wanted a baby but not a husband."
"I have a few friends who feel the same way."
Piper turned off the TV. She looked concerned at Phoebe, who seemed to be in shock. "Oh ... my ... God!"
"You all right, Pheebs?"
"I’m ... going ... to kill ... him."
"Wait! Phoebe! Maybe it’s just a joke. Maybe it’s just ... an ugly rumor. Just wait and hear it from him before you come to any conclusions."
"I’m going to kill him."
"Think it over. Maybe it’s just...." There was a knock at the door.
"If that’s him, he’s dead."
Piper rushed to answer the door. It was him. "Derek, I don’t think this is a good time to...."
They heard Phoebe roaring, "Derek! You’re fishfood!"
Derek agreed with Piper. "You’re right. This isn’t a good time."
He retreated off the porch when Phoebe charged at him. Piper held her back. She shook her fist at him and screamed, "Derek, get back here and get your butt kicked!"
Then Prue came rushing out. "All right! Let’s stop this right now! You’re making a spectacle of yourselves in front of the whole neighborhood! Let’s get inside and talk this out!"
Piper conducted Phoebe inside but Derek continued his departure, until Prue called after him, "You too! You’re the cause of all this! Get in here right now!"
Derek sighed with resignation and followed the sisters into the livingroom. Soon he was explaining himself, with much difficulty, to a very angry Phoebe.
"But I wasn’t hiding it from you! It just never came up in conversation; that’s all!"
"So, when would you have brought it up in conversation?"
"If ever we had a conversation about children, I would have mentioned it! I swear!"
"How can you do this -- just get girls pregnant and move on?"
"I was young, foolish, and fertile as a rabbit. I did offer to marry them, but I’m not exactly good husband material. I’m always on the move. Treasure hunting and related business take me place to place constantly. They all preferred a husband that stays in one place. So I figured I’ll never get married at this rate. But I wanted children. So I bred a slough of bastards all around the world."
"Do they know you’re their father?"
"Oh yes! I visit them whenever I can. They recognize me as ‘Daddy’. I see them on their birthdays and whatever holidays and special occasions I can make. I send them gifts and money and have put aside funds for their education and other future needs."
"Was that your plan for me -- just to be another one of your baby-makers?"
"Certainly not! We’ve taken precautions! And I’ve been doing something I’ve done nowhere else.... I’ve been coming back to San Francisco again and again, even though I have no business here."
"So what are you saying?"
"It’s all for you. I’ve never done this for anyone. And as I approach 30, I feel that my treasure-hunting days are slowly winding down. And I’m getting the feeling that this place is home ... because you’re here."
Phoebe got all choked up. She fell into his arms sniffling and wiping tears on his vest. Prue and Piper also felt a lump in their throats.
When Phoebe pulled herself together, she asked, "So, tell me about your children. What are their names? How old are they? Where do they live?"
Derek reached into his shoulderbag. "Like every proud poppa, I carry pictures of them." He pulled out a little photo album and went through it with her.
"This is Jason, with his mother ‘Crazy Daisy’. He’s nine. They live in a cabin, with her mother, outside of Whitesburg, Kentucky."
"Why is called ‘Crazy Daisy’?"
"She’s a wild character in the region. For example, she greets people at the door by taking out her rifle and shooting around them. But that’s mainly to let men know that, just because she’s a woman alone, she’s not one to be taken advantage of."
"Wow!"
"And this is Shelly, with her mother Didi. I met Didi in another small town in Southern Illinois. They now live in Chicago, so I see them often. She’s now married to a biker, who works as a garage mechanic. Shelly will turn six this year and start school."
"She’s so cute!"
"This is Bridgette, with her mother Sharisha. They live in a little village north of Balrampur, India. Bridgette is four. I had an ice cream factory built in their village and put Sharisha’s family in charge. That way, Bridgette has a better environment to grow up in. In a hot country, like India, ice cream businesses are constantly booming."
"Oh, that’s so wonderful of you!"
"And this is Patrick, with his mother Metanira. They live in Antalya, Turkey. Patrick is 15 months old."
"He’s so cute in that little suit!"
"Since I travel a lot, whenever I’m in a nearby part of the continent, I make a detour to see one of them."
"They’re such beautiful children! And I just thought of something!... When we get married, I’ll be an instant step-mother of four children!"
"Yeah! You’ll be a stepmother when we’re.... Hey, wait a minute! Who said anything about getting married?"
"Oh! So I’m not good enough for you to marry!"
Derek got up and backed away. "N-n-no! I didn’t mean...!"
Phoebe advanced on him and backed him against the wall. "So, I’m just good for a few tumbles in the sack then ‘Adios’!"
"Of-of course not! I didn’t say that!"
"Then what did you say?"
"I meant that.... Well, that is.... I-I .... Could you excuse me? It’s hard for me to talk with my foot in my mouth."
Prue and Piper clamped their hands over their mouths to keep from laughing out loud. They enjoyed watching their little sister take this big man down.
Derek pulled himself together and weaseled, "I didn’t mean to indicate that I find marriage an undesirable eventuality in our relationship. It’s just that ... it’s too early in our relationship to be talking about marriage."
"So, when should we talk about it?"
"Uh ... Um ... Next year!"
"Promise?"
"Uh ... Sure! I promise!"
Phoebe broke into a smile and hugged him. "For now, let’s talk about our weekend plans."
"Uh ... That’s what I came by to say. I have to go to Thailand for a sudden business deal."
"Oh, Derek! I cleared a whole weekend to spend time with you!"
"I’m sorry, Sugar Cake! This came up all of a sudden and I really have to go!"
"What am I going to do with so much time and without you?"
"Well, ... If you have a passport and can pack a suitcase in less than an hour...."
Phoebe looked up to him in surprise. "Are you serious?"
"Sure! No problem for me get an extra ticket at the last minute."
She turned to her sisters. "Could I? Could you do without me for a weekend?"
Prue spoke out. "Yes! Go! Go!"
Phoebe threw her arms around her. "Oh thank you!" Then she hugged Derek. "Oh thank you!" Then she ran upstairs to begin packing.
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